The Definitive How-to Bouchercon Guide (Works for all Writing Conferences)

Bouchercon is THE world mystery convention, held every fall and attended by thousands. Yesterday, I TBTB'd about the first Bouchercon I attended in 2006. I was overwhelmed by all the famous writers
I could reach out and touch (sorry, Harlan Coben*, but I think we both knew what was going to happen when you "dropped your napkin"), by what I felt like were many missed opportunities (my first book was out and I had no idea what to do with that information), and by a general sense of being Wood-Eye on the edge of the dance floor.

Fast forward eight years.

This November 13-16, I'll be attending my fourth Bouchercon. I look forward to connecting with what now has become my tribe, a group of readers and writers so generous, so funny, and so smart that I am literally willing to pay to hang out with them. But remembering my first Bouchercon, and how intimidated I felt, got me to thinking that maybe there needs to be a definitive guide to attending B'con for all the newbies out there. (By "got me to thinking," I mean that writer and freelance editor Jim Thomsen sent me the following questions and asked me to blog my answers.) The guide below applies equally well to every writing conference I've ever attended, across genres.

1. Are all authors similarly open to being approached by any new person at Bouchercon? Or are some there primarily to meet up with their established friends, and can be approached only at certain times or in certain situations? My opinion is that if a writer wanted to meet up with
   
   their friends, they'd skip the conference and meet up with their friends. Any writer who is in a public space at a writing conference is approachable. That said, the general DBaD (don't be a dick) rule that applies in life also applies in B'con--don't interrupt conversations or meals, respect people's space, watch for body language to know when the conversation is over, make meaningful conversation. Looking for a natural way to introduce yourself? Buy one of their books and ask to have it signed (not necessary but always appreciated). 
2. As awesome as the programming is, how much of the real lasting connection is forged at night? I've made lifelong friends by being on a panel with them (I'm looking at you, Catriona McPherson, Johnny Shaw, and Marcus Sakey) but never by watching a panel. All the other connections I've made by volunteering for the con, attending smaller and more interactive things (as opposed to panels--check the program for these opportunities), and definitely, definitely, definitely at the bar at night. A weird truism is that the more writers in a hotel, the smaller the bar, so save seats and you'll be the most popular guy in the room. 
3. What would be some examples of ways to NOT approach an author you admire? See Harlan Coben example in intro paragraph above.
4. What should I realistically budget for drinks each evening, assuming I'm there to forge
   
   connections and need to grease those wheels with what's behind the bar? Your personality will forge the connections, trust me. If you are open to it, you will find your people at B'con, and they won't expect you to buy them drinks. Unless your people are cheap, like me, and then they will smuggle a bottle of wine into the bar and share it with you. 
5. Is there a rock-star hierarchy among crime writers, or is everybody equally real and approachable? Interestingly, and I swear this is true, the more famous the writer, the more
   
   approachable and kind they are. You will not meet a more generous person than Lee Child, for example, unless it's William Kent Krueger. In fact, I'd like to see them both battle for the city of Nice, Lee-zilla against Kent-ra style. If we could get Charlaine Harris-dan in there for sex appeal, that is a show I would watch. But yeah. Famous crime writers are ridiculously nice people. 
6. The books question from your FB page: How many books should you be prepared to take home? What's the smart way to prepare luggage for the literary haul? I'd look at the list of authors attending, calculate which of their books you'd like signed, and add in ten more to account for the free ones you'll get in your swag bag and a couple left on the exchange table. The hotel will be able to ship them all back home for you, media-rate, which should be much cheaper than packing an extra suitcase on a flight.
7. If I want to go all day and most of the night and pretend I'm not middle-aged and in Olympic athlete condition, what's the smart way to ensure I can go the distance each day? Naps, and a deal with the devil for which you'll pay later. 
8. I'm bringing business cards. Are there any other "smart" giveaway items you'd recommend as icebreakers? I like a handshake, to be looked in the eye, and a couple minutes of intelligent, real conversation. I throw away business cards, but a real connection stays with me. 
9. What, in your opinion, defines a successful Bouchercon experience? One word: refueling. If I
   
   leave feeling inspired to read and to write, which I always do, it's a successful conference (to be fair, it takes me a week to recover enough to tap into the inspiration; I'm an introvert, so hanging with this many people is wonderfully exhausting). Look, writers and passionate readers are one click off of regular people, in the best possible way. If you're lucky, you might run across one a week. To be immersed with thousands of them for a long weekend? It's like coming home.

*I have never met Mr. Coben, and I don't condone unauthorized touching of mystery writers. That said, Linda Joffe Hull, you can grab my ass any time. It's in the contract.
**I'm 80% of the way there. Sooooooo close! You can help put me over the top. Great prizes are available at all pledge levels (chocolate, books, secret tchotchkes, members-only access), so please check out my Kickstarter campaign, which has one week to go, all or nothing: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1675834533/the-catalain-book-of-secrets