The Dirt on Box Stores

I'm happy to report that May Day is getting reviewed in Tulsa, Oklahoma? South Dakota? Georgia?

Also, I have picked up some tasty knowledge on how box stores, specifically Barnes & Noble and Border, order and stock books. Here's how I got it. Last night, at my Rice Lake public library presentation, a woman in the audience said she had gone to two Borders, and both of them told her that they do not stock May Day because it's an "order only" book. I asked my bookselling/publicizing/publishing guru how the box stores work, and here is what He said:

"When a box store buys X number of a book, they allocate copies to their stores based on how they sell in that book’s genre. For instance, mystery might sell well at one Barnes and Noble but not another. Once a new title is on the shelves, the box store buyer (usually one person in a region who oversees many stores simultaneously) monitors its sales. If it sells well (don’t ask me how they define that, but they usually evalute sales on a book after its been out for about three months), they will then make a recommendation that the book be 'modeled.' Once a book is modeled, it has a minimum number that must remain on the shelf at all times to meet demand (this number is usually small; 1-3). As soon as a copy is sold, one is automatically reordered by the computer to replenish and bring it back to model.

If a book doesn’t sell well, it will most likely be pulled from the shelves and sent back to the distribution center. Certain restrictions may apply. For instance, even if May Day doesn’t sell well enough in Minnesota to make model, most buyers will make sure that a copy or two stay on shelves simply by virtue of the fact that it’s by a local author (or has a local setting). Once a book is pulled, it is still available for ordering but won’t be on the shelves as a matter of record. The book's publisher has no control over that.

I am pretty sure there’s no such designation as 'order only.' (Technically, EVERY book is order only.) Order only may have been shorthand for 'that book is not modeled, ergo it will not be auto-replenished, ergo the only way to get a copy is to order it.' The important thing to remember is that anyone who wants MD can walk in and order it at any time and they will get it as long as Borders stocks it in their warehouse."

Interesting stuff, no? I also saw David Morrell speak at a conference last fall, and he said that all placement at box stores, including everything but the New York Times bestseller's display, is paid placement. So, if you walk in and see a "Barnes and Noble's bestsellers" display, for example, you'll know that those books are there only because their publishers paid Barnes and Noble big bucks to put them there. Seems dishonest somehow, no? It's one more good reason to support independent bookstores, where the recommendations you get are first-person and free.

Wish me luck at my Rice Lake Bookworld signing tomorrow (Wednesday, 5:30-7:30), the last stop in my J Lo Takes Wisconsin Book Tour, 2006!

Confession: I went to a WalMart Super Store on this trip. I'm sorry Christine. I feel dirty. Later, I donated my hair to help raise funds to pay the legal fees of those unfairly held at Gitmo, and the universe is back in balance. For the record, the superstore had okay prices but a lousy selection, so it wasn't even worth the karma debt.

Rice Lake not Dicey

I just got done with the Mystery Writing Is Murder presentation at the Rice Lake Public Library, and it was superfly! The audience was receptive, intelligent, and fun, and they all got a reformed (as in "it used to be a different shape"--it's hot in the RV) Nut Goodie for their fabulous audienceness. Thank you especially to Nancy Chick for all her help setting up and promoting the presentation, and thank you to Peter and Tami for making me feel so welcome.

I like Rice Lake. Good people, grocery store with organic food, well-stocked library. If you didn't catch me tonight, I'll be at the Bookworld in Rice Lake from 5:30-7:30 on Wednesday. (The picture above is of me at the Marshfield signing, but I looked the same in Rice Lake.)

In more good news, I got an email from Bernie in Montana (originally from Duluth), who hearts May Day and is going to order another copy to send as a round robin to her friends and get them hooked on the series. Pimpin' it old school. Thanks, Bernie!

Marshfield Is on a Marsh

Marshfield also has an excellent medical facility and quirky characters, most of whom were apparently at the festival about ten miles up the road, as only eight twelve people came into the Bookworld when I was there for yesterday's signing. Stephanie, Wendy, and Amy, the bookstore employees, were incredibly helpful, having my poster plastered all over the windows, having stuffed flyers promoting my signing into bags all week, and having drawn a chalk outline of a body, with signing information and a big arrow, directly outside the door. Alas, it wasn't in the stars. Marshfield was a ghost town yesterday, and I only sold four copies of May Day, two to employees of Bookworld. :)

The other copy was to a librarian, and the final copy was to an interesting man who told me how he broke out of jail in Nebraska when he was 16. He had three daughters and was sure at least one of them would like May Day, but wasn't sure which one, so had me write, "To a wonderful daughter" on the inside cover. Hee hee. Anyhow, I can see why publishers don't want to spring for book tours for the authors. Phew. What a bust. On a good note, Amy, the manager of the Marshfield Bookworld, had me sign the 20 copies of May Day she had on hand before I left.

I would like to add to the Wisconsin Rapids post on what I know, the hard way, about booksignings. If you're an author set on booksignings, and you're not famous and/or in your hometown, create a group, like the Minnesota Crime Wave. You'll widen your potential audience, particularly if the other writers have different styles, and you'll promise more entertainment potential to your audience.

I've been reading Deadly Housewives, in preparation for the short story I'm going to write. I'd like to preface what I'm about to writing by making clear that I don't normally enjoy short stories--as my mom says, "If it's good, you don't want it to end, and if it's not good, why read it?"--and that I do normally enjoy the writing of many of the contributing authors to the Deadly Housewives anthology. That said, the short stories in the anthology are terrible. I've paged through the first five and been unable to finish any but one, and I only finished that one because it was extra short.

The others have zero character development. An effective short story author has to be able to paint a memorable character with only a few keystrokes. That can be done by focusing on a couple physical characteristics and a telling line of dialogue or two. For example:

Lisa shuffled to the nearest table and slid quickly into a fold-out chair. She was careful to smooth her lily-covered sundress under her first. The dress was new and expensive, and she didn't want any telltale wrinkles when she returned it on Monday.

That's the best I can do on short notice, but the point is that you know Lisa is lacking in self-confidence, and she's thrifty. She's a type, and you have enough to create a mental image of her so you can feel more confident in following the plot. Now, being a mystery writer, I've got to give Lisa some dark twist later in the story, something you didn't see coming but can swallow given the compulsive repressedness I've hinted at above. Maybe she runs a cockfighting ring in the basement of her home daycare. I'll just have to see.

Anyhow, the point is that a short story needs to be a study in character, unless you've got some incredibly clever plot to throw out in a couple pages or less. Otherwise, as a reader, I want to really be able to dig in and understand the people I'm reading about.

Off to the Duck Boats. It's cold and a little rainy in the Dells, but the kids are happy!

Wisconsin Rapids Isn't

Rapid. It's pretty mellow. There is a haunted house on Baker Street, though, if Mark is to be believed. Mark is, by the way, one of three people whose book I signed at the Wisconsin Rapids Bookworld signing today. I'm not complaining--Mark was charming, intelligent, and funny, and talked to me for a half an hour. Gayle and Al also made me laugh and feel welcome. The third guy, the one who said, across the store, "That Garrison Keillor is so damn liberal. I just can't read his stuff," was sort of an anomaly.

Jamie, Kaaren, and Jane were excellent hosts and recommended a couple books (a Kris Radish and a Louise Erdrich) that I bought and am excited to read.

So, I consider it a success. For those of you thinking of becoming authors, or those of you who are authors, however, I need to present my Wisconsin book tour as sort of a wake-up call/cautionary tale/reality check. Unless you are Anne Rice, consistently naked, John Grisham, famous for sleeping with rock stars, Stephen King, or an actor, people aren't really going to come to your book signing. They just aren't. How many book signings have you yourself gone to in the past year. See?

As someone who has signed at book stores, feverishly researched book marketing, and given various presentations on writing/publishing, I have learned some things, and I am passing them on to you, grasshopper. Here they are, in no particular order:

IF YOU WANT TO SELL A LOT OF BOOKS:

You need to present and/or align your book with some sort of conference. Case in point: at the Business Professional Women's state conference, I was their lunchtime speaker. They were a fabulous crowd, made me feel smart and funny, and bought 32 copies of May Day. This works whether the crowd is there for a new business opening, a pharmacist's conference (rock on), or an art show. The point is, if you are a B-list or lower author, the crowd won't come to you, so you have to go to the crowd.

IF YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT THE WRITING, PUBLISHING, AND BOOKSELLING BUSINESS

Set up readings and signings at independent bookstores. First, it's just good to support independents. They have the personal touch, the feel, the appreciation of books and authors, that the box stores just can't. Second, you will find yourself around people who like and appreciate books and authors. Guaranteed. That's why they own/work at the independent bookstore (mostly. there might be some guy working there because the store was below his apartment.). When you're there, ask questions, be nice, and buy a book or two.

IF YOU WANT TO PROMOTE YOUR BOOKS AT THE BOX STORES

Call to make sure they have your book in stock, and then stop by and offer to sign stock. Be gracious, charming, memorable, and keep it short. You will leave as much of an impression on them as you would if you sucked their air for two hours sitting at that lonely author's table during a formal booksigning, but you would be saving your time, theirs, and you'd still get the cool "signed copy" sticker on your books which, as a frequent book buyer, I can guarantee you sets your book apart from the rest.

IF NONE OF THE ABOVE APPEALS TO YOU

Write. We always need a couple Salingers. If you write a fantastic book, I'll buy it, read it, and recommend it, regardless of whether or not you did your time in the cramped corner of a Wisconsin Bookworld, anxiously lighting up whenever someone who wasn't holding a $3.99 Soduko book walked by.

If, however, you have an extended vacation coming up, and the alternative to signing at a Bookworld is to be in a hot RV with your parents and kids, I encourage you to whore yourself at every available opportunity. I love my kids and my parents, and I love them even more after I've gotten a break to go into a bookstore or a library.

This is a pretty nice vacation.

Thank you for taking it with me.

Mad for Madison

I can no longer say Madison is my favorite city that I've never been to because now I've been there, and I loved it. The magic is in the feel--it's relaxed, progressive, and green, and the people are nice nice nice. I can't wait to come back for Bouchercon in a few months.

Last night, I gave a reading at Booked for Murder, and I can see why Ellen Hart calls it one of the best bookstores in the country. It's not large--in fact, it's on the far side of a strip mall on University Avenue. But once inside, it's warm, and Terri, one of the owners, is fabulous. She's funny, confident, smart, and knows her mysteries. Here's some of what I learned at the reading last night:

• Authors publish under different names for various reasons, including: those who publish in different genres or with different characters/styles and don't want to confuse their readers; those who don't want their speciality lines to drag down their hot-selling lines (apparently, the big stores like Wal-Mart order as many copies of a new book as the number the author sold in their last book; if the author knows s/he is going to write a book with a limited appeal, it is in her/his best interest to do so under a different name so as not to pull down future potentially big-selling books); those who are under contract to give their publisher right of first refusal for the next book published under their name and who want to squeak out of that; and crazy eccentric authors like Stephen King (I added that last one).
• Bouchercon and Left Coast Crime are the two big conferences. The rest of them keep their numbers to about 200, on purpose, and if they are stationary conferences (same city every year), they will likely draw the same crowd, so as a mystery author or fan, choose wisely when attending your conferences. Focus on your favorite genre, for example, or seek out one where your favorite author will be.
• Second printings of books are usually supplemental and not as large as the first printing. The first printing of May Day was 7500, for example, so the second printing will probably be around 2000, unless someone gets murdered in Battle Lake for real. :) (Is it wrong to put a smiley face there? Yes for sure.)

Good stuff. There were only four people at the signing, which is failure if you're a mathematician (or a cannibal with a large family) but success if you like being surrounded by mystery books and smart people. So yay, it was a resounding success! Oh, I also picked up a signed copy of Janet Evanovich's 12th book, a collection of short story mysteries so I can figure out how to write them, and a PJ Tracy novel.

Tomorrow, I'll be at the Wisconsin Rapids Book World from 11:30-1:30, and Saturday, I'll be at the Marshfield Book World (green box on the right, not the other stuff) from 11:30-1:30, passing out writing tips and red hot Atomic Fireballs like they grow on trees. You're gonna want to stop by and get some of that.

Race to Racine

Finding Internet access seems to be a trick when in an RV. Whoduthought? So, I’ll have to backtrack and post the Racine post the same day I post the Madison post.

Which do you want to hear first about my Racine Public Library “Mystery Writing Is Murder” presentation--the good news or the bad news? The good news? OK. All but two people there bought copies of May Day, and the group was made up of intelligent women, most of them writers. The bad news is that there were only eight people there. I guess I’m not exactly a household name in eastern Wisconsin. Or western. Or anywhere but my own house. The librarian who introduced me to the throng-ette did say I gave a mean presentation and invited me to the Breakfast with the Authors event the library holds the second Saturday in November.

One of the Racine attendees also writes for a regional writing mag and said she would like to do an article on me, so whee! But wait, it gets better. My dad later sold a copy of May Day to the couple from Hibbing who were camping next to us. Apparently, he got tired of having them silently watch him pump our poop from the RV into the ground from their lawn chairs five feet away and so struck up a conversation. They don’t read much but were sure their sister-in-law from Pengilly would like the book because it’s a mystery and she likes John Grisham.

We spent the night at Spring Green and visited House on the Rock, which is crazy cool. It’s a bit overwhelming, though, and gave Xander nightmares. But if you’re older than four, I recommend it. It was bizarre, like being inside someone’s cluttered brain.

On to Madison, my favorite city that I’ve never been to (thanks for the tip on the Capital Times piece, Mr. B.). But first, I need to share with you some light that Mr. B. brought into my life. I don’t know if he likes my sense of humor, but he clearly gets it.

We Have Wisconsin

The May Day Wisconsin book tour has begun! Whee! Currently, I am in Alma Center, Wisconsin, at the lovely KOA. Over the next ten days, I will be hitting six cities to spread the good word about the Book. If you follow along, you will find out what the glamorous world of an author really entails.

Currently, my kids are outside the RV playing with their new fly-shooter guns, bought for them by their Opa, who is presently enjoying his morning ablutions (that's a nice way of saying guy bathroom time, which is crazy long considering how little they do). My mom is cooking breakfast for everyone but her and me, as we are on an Ultrclear cleansing diet. The race to the bathroom is on...

I've also been researching the way to make the most out of booksignings, which have been a mixed bag for me, and presentations, which I enjoy but am nervous about. My mom has made a lovely full-color brochure, extolling the virtues of May Day, to which my kids will affix red hot Atomic Fireballs (Lex Ham Rand, do you see a Menard's/Fleet Farm candy pattern emerging in my literary career? What could it mean?). I'm going to hand those out to people who come near my table at signings, but do it in a low-pressure way as I hate pushiness. I've also bought 32 Nut Goodies for my Wednesday night presentation at Booked for Murder, both because I'm happy to visit Madison for the first time AND because Terri and Linda picked May Day for their May read.

Tonight, I am presenting, "Mystery Writing Is Murder," at the Racine Public Library at 7:00 (anyone know if there is a time change from Minnesota?), so stop by if you're around! It'll be a blast.

May Library Winner

The winner of the May May Day Librarian Contest is....the Adult Services Librarian at the Westborough Public Library in Westborough, Massachussetts! Because s/he was the May winner, s/he gets the special added treats--a Nut Goodie, a magnet, a pen, and a May Day canvas bag to carry books and such in. Oh, and the WPL gets a free copy of May Day.

In more good news, I've been invited to speak to two Battle Lake book clubs on September 12th and the St. Cloud Barnes & Noble mystery club on September 26. Yay! Speaking of Battle Lake, I'm going there on Saturday to do some research, so let me know if you need anything.

In the latest literary news, Product Placement Makes the Leap from Films to Books. Whaddya say, Mr. B.? Can we get me on the Nut Goodie website? If that's not a lucrative tie-in, I don't know what is. At the very least, May Day should be on the Battle Lake website, underneath the soothing banner, "Battle Lake--Easy to Get to, Hard to Leave...if you're dead! Enjoy the latest Battle Lake mystery from author Jess Lourey, available online and at your local bookstore." Good stuff.

Las Vegas

I am freshly back from Las Vegas, and it's good to be home. It wasn't really my kind of town--very artificial, expensive, frenzied, and lacking in history and culture. That said, it was a vacation, and I was with my friends, so how bad could it be... we caught a good Cirque du Soleil show (see above left), looked hot at a Mexican bar (see above right), got kicked out of Tao

because we weren't cool enough (no picture), met some friendly Brits at Studio 54 (see left), enjoyed delicious food that turned out to be accidentally raw (see right), and went to Madame Tussaud's where Xtine made out with Jon Bon Jovi (see below left). We also have a picture of George Clooney cupping Kellie's breast and me doing something unmentionable (he liked it) to our current President of the United States of America, but those pictures aren't fit to print.

Today, I'm back in the routine. I'm sending out a review copy of May Day to Sandra Ruttan at Spinetingler Magazine, who has graciously offered to review it. Then, it's time to revise Knee High by July. I just got feedback from my independent editor, and my favorite comment of hers is, "Skunks are mammals, not rodents." Is that a thorough editor or what? After revisions, I'm going to start updating my fall online Creative Writing course, so watch here for writing tips as I scour the Internet for the best of the best and smush it together with what I've learned the hard way.

Rogue Takes Vegas

Kellie, Christine, Linda, and I (see earlier picture with us and Ruth Buzzy) are leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow morning, so I won't be blogging for a week. The four of us take a summer trip every year. Last year, we took a train to Chicago (Christine and I had the most fun). The year before, we drove to Winnipeg, and the year before, we road-tripped to Colorado where we whitewater-rafted after hitting the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota, and Laura Ingalls' house in DeSmet, Someplace Flat.

But this year, it's the big time, a plane to Vegas and the Mirage Hotel, baby, and in honor of it, I got highlights put in my hair on Saturday. Unfortunately, my hair is very dark and my stylist was, like, concerned that the highlights, like, were going to be too light. They are. They're so light, in fact, they look gray, and now I look like a 36-year-old Rogue from X-Men, minus any sort of compensating superpower or tight-ass pleather suit. Wish me luck in Vegas.

Devil in a Blue Dress

I just finished Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley. It was Mosley's debut novel and received rave reviews when it came out in 1990. Mosley was hailed as the next Raymond Chandler, probably for his "gritty realism" (read: tough men, much violence, meddlesome yet sexy women who need to be straightened out by the protagonist whom they are reluctantly yet passionately attracted to--the typical male romance novel).

I began the novel with as much trepidation as I watched Capote--I was doing it because it was supposed to be good for me, not because I was going to like it. Turns out I liked it AND it was really really good. You know how when you're at a movie that is so good that you forget you're in a theater? Devil in a Blue Dress made me forget I was reading a book.

Here are my two favorite sections, both of which give you a feel for the sense of place and voice throughout the novel:

"When I opened the door I was slapped in the face by the force of Lips' alto horn. I had been hearing Lips and Wilie and Flattop since I was a boy in Houston. All of them and John and half the people in that crowded room had migrated from Houston after the war, and some before that. California was like heaven for the southern Negro. People told stories of how you could eat fruit right off the trees and get enough work to retire one day. The stories were true for the most part but the truth wasn't like the dream. Life was still hard in L.A. and if you worked every day you still found yourself at the bottom.

But being on the bottom didn't feel so bad if you could come to John's now and then and remember how it felt back home in Texas, dreaming about California. Sitting there and drinking John's scotch you could remember the dreams you once had and, for a while, it felt like you had them for real."

That's good writing. Here's some more:

"I was sitting there, naked on the toilet seat, and watching her go through the mirror-doored medicine cabinet. I felt something deep down in me, something dark like jazz when it reminds you death is waiting."

I enjoy mysteries with strong character development, ones that go below the surface and examine the human condition, and Devil in a Blue Dress does that. Lots. And the language is tight. Oh, and it's a movie! You know it must be good then.

My Lucrative New Career

In breaking news, I just found out that you can sue for bad and/or misleading dates. I've never hired a matchmaker, so I think I'll just go straight to the source and sue the guys/post-operative transsexuals with whom I had the dates (actually, the post-operative transsexual was very nice and a good conversationalist, but he really should have told me before the date that he was born a woman).

Cripes, I'm going to have to start making a list. I bet I could get $50,000 from the blind date who peed on the 15th hole of the mini golf course (in his defense, there was a rushing waterfall there which was hard to resist; against his defense, pee runs downhill, especially on Astroturf, so a real gentleman would have urinated at the bottom and not the top of the rise).

And I'm sure I could clear a cool 100 Gs for the foreign exchange student who stalked me after one date, finally cornering me outside my apartment building and shoving a size eight pair of women's brown suede ankle boots and telling me he was going to leave the country and could I just give him my social security number in case he needed to get a hold of me? Hmmm. I might be too busy to blog in the next few days...cha ching...

In the meanwhile, keep the great song ideas coming. They are chillingly brilliant in their ability to capture the feel of the central Minnesota wedding dance. Love in an Elevator, the extended version? I Knew the Bride before She Used to Rock n Roll? Yes. Bring it on.