RIP

You are currently reading the last post to my blog. Thank you, dear reader, for taking this short ride with me. I've enjoyed the time we've spent together and hope you felt entertained and appreciated. However, I find myself channeling all my writing energies into blogging instead of novelizing, and so I'm quitting cold turkey. Sort of. I'm going to update my website and have a molasses blog on there, one that is updated weekly or every two weeks instead of daily.

So, I'm not completely ditching you. See? And if you fill in this form, I promise to send you an email whenever a new book of mine comes out or when I'm in your area.

Plus, I'm leaving you in good hands. Julia Buckley has a fantastic blog that I recommend you start dating after we break up. She interviews cool writers, has pictures, is regular, and allows you to peek inside the trials and tribulations of a new author.

Thank you!

...And the Beat Goes On

It's true. No one is rude at Bouchercon. The one Rudinator from Love Is Murder has been surprisingly sober every time I see him, so who's left? Oh wait, there was that one guy, the smirking-laugh-at-you-corrector-of-everything-you-say, but I needed a new villain to kill off in the next mystery, and he was a great prototype. So thank you, Mr. New Rudinator.

Otherwise, all good. Sandra Ruttan, despite her offer, would be hard pressed to pull off rude with any believability (although I bet she does pissed off pretty well, :) if you give her a reason), Tim Maleeny is not only an interesting storyteller but a charming person, Bill Cameron is a little bit meaner than Santa Claus and not quite as nice as Mister Rogers, and I'm pretty sure Julia Buckley is nice, too, but she was too busy being clever and funny for me to be sure. By the way, check out her blog. It's fabulous.

Today, I got Kent Krueger and Laura Lippmann to sign their new mysteries for me, so yay! I also accidentally sat next to a crazy man who writes short stories but wouldn't tell me what they were about because they're private and only his publisher can see them (and I couldn't help noticing his age spots were the same color as his eyes). Ah, the tales from Bouchercon. Tomorrow, my goal is to meet reviewers, but the deal is that somehow you can't tell them apart from the rest of us regular folk. I hear they float when you drop them in water, though.

What I've learned so far at Bouchercon:

1. How to take a shoe imprint out of snow (hot sulfur, interestingly enough).
2. Paint chips are used in identifying criminals, but there needs to be at least eight layers of paint in the chip for it to be admissible. (Got both those tips from Jerry Geurts, Director of the Wisconsin State Crime Lab. You know, the real CSI guy for Wisconson.)
3. I never want to read a medieval mystery. It's just me, and I think it has more to do with the disappointment at finding out there are not automatically wenches and swords in them as much as anything.
4. Midnight Ink has a great line-up of authors, and a fantastic team all around (everyone I meet loves the covers!).
5. I automatically take people with British accents more seriously because they're smarter.
6. According to mystery writer Barb D'Amato, death is not funny, but people are funny. I would like to add to that that sex is funny, but dead people having sex isn't.
7. All mystery writers are nice, except for the three assholes, and everyone knows who they are. I stole that from Tim Maleeny, who heard it in a presentation yesterday. It's true and brings this post full circle, except for one more thing:

The Otter Tail Count Review is finally available, as of today. It is a great collection, and all profits benefit library and literacy programs in the Upper Midwest. Check it out!

Bouchercon 2006

Not one person has been rude to me. In fact, several have been very, very nice (Bill Cameron and Margery Flax, you bastards!). So, I have nothing to write about other than the fabulous roasted portabello salad I had today with Barbara Moore, Acquisitions Editor Extraordinaire at Midnight Ink, and the hot little shuttle driver (three months away from a B.S in Chinese Language and Literature--all the boys and Madison are cute and smart). Sorry. I'll see who I can antagonize tomorrow.

(Ooops) I Did It

I sent Britney Spears a copy of May Day. I really did. I figured that dream where I was her nanny, followed by the book club meeting on Britney Lane, all meant something. It had to. So now Britney has something to read whilst chewing gum on the treadmill and getting back that tight little body of hers. Enjoy, Britney.

Oh, and maybe I sent a copy to Sandra Bullock, too, while caught in the throes of star fever. Maybe. But you can't prove it.

Onto the grist. Gristle. Grist. The stuff that matters. I was at the St. Cloud Barnes & Noble today, talking to their MS book club, where I was asked how I deal with writer's block. I actually am too shallow to get writer's block with any regularity, but the times that I do get it, here's what I do to overcome it:

1. Outline. If the scene won't come to me whole, like it usually does, I outline it. Creating a sketch of it usually gets me past the mental hairball clogging my creative process.
2. Stop and go to bed. The trick is, it has to be close to bedtime and I have to be thinking about what I am stuck on as I fall asleep. I usually wake up with an idea, if not a whole scene. I have a notebook next to my bed for just this purpose.
3. Write crap. Oftentimes, writer's block is not an inability to come up with an idea so much as the fear that the idea lurking in the back of our head is crap. If you allow yourself to put the crap on paper, you can move past the block. A lot of time you'll find out it wasn't really crap, or at least that it's easier to shape crap into something worthwhile than it is to start on a blank page. As Ernest Hemingway said, "The first draft of anything is shit." I think that's the shortest sentence he ever wrote.

Ah, pearls of wisdom. Next time I blog, I will be in Madison, Wisconsin, enjoying the premier mystery convention in the world, Bouchercon. While there, I'm going to do my darndest to antagonize that famous writer who was rude to me at Love Is Murder last fall so I have something exciting to write about. Stay tuned.

A Riddle for the Ages

First things first. I was invited to attend an Alexandria book club reading May Day on Saturday, and it was a blast! I was wondering where all the smart, hip chicks (besides the ones I work with) were hiding out in this town, and now I know! Great food, great fun, great wine, and some good ghost stories. That's a Saturday night worth having, I tell you. And what really tickled me was that the host of the party lives on Britney's Lane, which was named after Britney Spears. Hee hee! She hates that. The host, not Britney Spears.

Next: I overheard this at the riddle booth at the Ren Fest and can't for the life of me solve it. Suggestions? "I have no mother and no father and was born without skin. I made a noise at birth and haven't made a sound since. Who am I?"

And finally, the local grocery stopped carrying my favorite cereal, Rice Twice, and so now I had to order a case of it online. What is this world coming to? It's delicious, by the way. Crispy brown rice mixed with puffed rice--crunchy, puffy, sweet! You should order yourself a gross and be cool like me.

Jesus Camp

My friend Berns sent me a link to the new documentary, Jesus Camp, and a link to the theaters showing it. It looks worth seeing and talking about, so check it out if it's in your area! I won't be able to see it because I live in a bunker in the woods, but I will have to check it out when it comes out on video as my fourth mystery, August Moon, is set in a Bible Camp sort of like this one. Coincidence? Yes.

The September May Day contest winner is the Williams Library at Northern State University, courtesy of an entry filled out by Jennifer Jenness, Technical Services Coordinator. Thanks, Jennifer, for entering! A free copy of May Day for the Williams Library plus a treat for you are hurtling through snail mail as we speak.

Tomorrow, I'm speaking to the drunken, tattooed, five-finger-discount-leaning Alexandria Book Club. Actually, I'm sure they're very nice, but a gal can always hope. I hear there will be Nut Goodies there, though! If your book club is within 50 miles of Alexandria, I'd love to come out and meet you all, too.

OK, you know why I'm blogging so much this week? Because I'm supposed to be starting August Moon. This is work avoidance, people, and you're enabling me. Stop. It. Oh! But I do have a five-page outline of August Moon, which is my longest outline ever. I have a plot, a sub-plot, three fantastic new characters (plus lots of returning favorites), a central theme of the repercussions of blind faith, maybe a dead cheerleader, and clues dropped throughout a la Agatha Christie so you will be able to solve this one if you read closely. And if I ever write it.

Guns Don't Kill People. People with Mustaches Kill People.

That's my new favorite t-shirt, which I saw at the Ren Fest last Saturday. I had a great time! I went with my friend Christine and my two kids. They were all in costume: Christine ("I feel pretty. I'm pretty!") was a wench, Zoe was a queen, and Xander was a gladiator (time travel is acceptable at the Ren Fest). I broke down and bought and wore a classy wench costume, too, and was cinched into it so tight that I had a boob. I'll post real pix when I get them, but in the meanwhile, let me introduce you to Ariana Swordswallower.

If you have a minute, go to Bill's blog, scroll down to the Hobbit post, and check out the Infinite Cat Project. I can't stop thinking about it!

And now, I begin to write August Moon. Wish me luck.

Clooney Lectures United Nations

I'd like to quote my good friend Holly when it comes to this article:

"Really. Really?? Really. Now Hollywood stars are lecturing the decision and policymaking bodies of the world. That's hot."

'Nuff said.

OK, you know how the tagline for May Day was:

New job. Small town. Dead boyfriend. Ever have one of those months?

You don't? Well it was. Anyhow, now I need a tagline for June Bug. Mr. B. is recommending, "It says 'Last Resort' on my ass for a reason" (you might need to get a magnifying glass on her butt). Inarguably catchy, no? Any other suggestions? Seriously. I want to get some mood pens made up, and I need a tagline. Here's a summary that might be helpful:

In June Bug, the second book in the Murder by Month series, Mira dives into a secret nearly a century old. In the late 1920s, a diamond necklace lost in a nearby lake prompts the wealthy owners of an island to fire their staff and sell the property. This intrigue resurfaces when a Minneapolis newspaper creates a contest to find the necklace. The quirky characters from the first novel return as Mira contends with a traveling theater troupe, competitive resorts willing to do anything to attract business, a town eager to find the necklace, and long-buried rivalries.

And here's a link to Chapter 1. If I use your tagline on the pens, I'll send ya one! A pen! A whole pen! And maybe a Nut Goodie bar.

p.s. Last night I dreamt I was Britney Spears' nanny. I kid you not. I don't know what karma debt that was, but I can tell you I took good care of those little boys and only fed them organic food (only it was organic liver in my dream). Brit and Kevin Can'tStopSpreadingYourSeederline were making out a lot in the background. What is the meaning of this?

Loose Change 2nd Edition Recut

A student sent me this video, which makes for a fascinating discussion. Where's Mulder when you need him?

This Blog Has Been Interrupted to Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse

It's true. And I also want to report that although I'm saddened by the death of Steve Irwin, my favorite article title on the subject is, "Well, He Wasn't Called the Stingray Hunter."

I'm thinking of taking my kids to the Renaissance Festival this weekend. Can you do anything about the rain?

My hair shirt doesn't stand up to moisture so well.

Laker Girls

Last night, I met with two book clubs at the Shoreline in Battle Lake--the Clitherall Lake Book Club and the Battle Lake Book Club (the Laker Girls). It was fun! They had M & Ms and good questions, and there were no haters. I even picked up some solid gossip, like:

• Battle Lake is the only Minnesota town to birth TWO Princess Kays of the Milky Way. And one of them was at the meeting last night, cute as a freakin' button.
• I should read books by Shirley Hazzard.
• Women never forget their first loves (which means I've never had one because I don't remember him. Oooh! Or maybe it means I'm not a woman.).
• Men in Otter Tail County don't read. They CAN read, but choose not to. It's hard to juggle The Secret Life of Bees and the thirty ought the same time, so something's gotta go, and it sure ain't gonna be the gun. That's my hypothesis.

Fun stuff. I'd do it again. I also had time before the book club meeting to run up Inspiration Peak (a site featured prominently in the forthcoming Knee High by July), which is gorgeous this time of year. Make a trip there!

I was just going to sign off, but then obsessively checked my amazon.com rankings and realized that the official June Bug cover is out there! Whee! Great work, Lisa!

August May Day Winning Library (Yes, August)

Congratulations to the Glendale Public Library in Glendale, California! Thanks to the fantastic entry skills of Lyndsay McCollum, Reference Librarian, the GPL is the proud owner of a brand spankin' new copy of May Day, which is hurtling through the postal service as we speak. If you work at a library, you should enter!

Oh, and my publicist wants to turn me into a sparkling, dancing monkey to draw crowds to my future book signings. It's tempting, but I am more likely to go this route.

Last Friday, I sent off my applications to the University of Minnesota (MFA in Creative Writing and PhD in Literature) and University of Madison (PhD in Literature as their MFA in fiction is on alternating years, next year 2008). I'm also in the process of applying for a Bush Foundation Fellowship for literature. Any one of those paths will give me more time to write, which is my goal.

Mickey Spillane Moves On

I don't mean to turn this into an obitu-blog (what an idea), but did you know Mickey Spillane died? (And did or did not Stacy Keach a hairlip have?) I'm not a huge fan of the male romance novel, but I do admire Spillane for his fortitude and aphorisms, as well as the way he modified and stretched out the whole hard-boiled genre. This article does him some justice.

In happier news, Mysterical-E, an ezine with great articles and free giveaways, positively reviewed May Day ("With a cynical and sassy approach to life and murder, Mira sets out to solve the mystery of her lover's demise, and why not get a great story for her boss at the newspaper, in the bargain...[s]eries fans will find themselves looking forward to another visit with Mira and friends, like a comical and cozy sitcom.") and interviewed me (scroll down down way down).

It does seem that they're not a fan of the "crude remarks" in the first installment of the Murder by Month series, and I vacillate between telling people that June Bug is just as funny and suspensful but less pervo (I'm not defensive, you're defensive) and just standing behind my writing, which I actually happen to like. :) What hat shall I wear today?

Before I decide, let's all weigh in on the beauty that is Baby Suri. I need a body language expert to weigh in on the parental distance between TomKat and baby and tell me what it means. On the surface, I gotta say, she's pretty cute.

Stingray Kills Crocodile Hunter

A moment of silence as we mourn the passing of a crazy man. A stingray barb to the heart is how he would have wanted to go, but jeez. This is sad. I hate it when the conservatives are right. "Don't dangle your baby over a hungry crocodile, Steve." "Don't film a show called 'The Ten Most Painful Ways to Die Featuring Creatures God Intended Us Not to Swim With,' Steve." Sigh.

What's in Your Cards?

Llewellyn, the mother of my publisher, Midnight Ink, has a free online Tarot card-reading service. Find out what's in your future, but I warn you: it may be bleak. Apparently, my move to St. Paul is going to be ruinous and awful. I think the exact forecast, when I was focusing on my future as a writer, was, "Be prepared to gain the world and sell your soul." Super. I need to get my chakras realigned. Or maybe I just wasn't focusing hard enough. I may have been thinking about the peanut M & Ms I wanted to eat.


Could that have infected my reading, like when the fly gets in the transformer in The Fly? Barbara? Help me.



And my fantastic friend Berns wanted me to post this link, so if you want to share or ask an opinion, go check it out!

Behind the Scenes: Thongs, Gordon Lightfoot, and Trumpets with Julia Buckley

Julia Buckley, author of The Dark Backward (Eht Krad?) has kindly agreed to share her insight on writing, publishing, and promoting mysteries. Read on, you crazy diamond!

You are doing a fantastic job promoting your debut mystery, The Dark Backward. You have interviewed big-name authors (and me) on your blog, you've set up booksignings, you are active on Murder Must Advertise (a mystery-promoting listserv), and you sell Dark Backward-themed items on your website. What promotional effort has been your favorite, what has been your most effective, and how well is the Dark Backward Classic Thong selling?

Tee-hee. A thong. Now there’s an idea—but not for me to wear. And it’s not practical, because not enough people would see it, so it wouldn’t necessarily promote the book. The items make me no money, anyway, it’s just a link to Café Press, but it’s always an option for promotion, since the cover is so cool (not my doing, but Kevin R. Brown’s).

My favorite activity, aside from writing the books, has been doing the interviews, because they’re very fun and I really feel that I’ve “met” a lot of people, who I now look forward to meeting in person at conferences. Jess Lourey, for example.

The Dark Backward begins with the death of its protagonist, Lily Caldwell. How did you come up with such a compelling and original opening?

It was actually done out of spite. I had written the Madeline Mann mysteries FIRST, you see, and they made the rounds with my agent, and people said they loved Madeline and liked the books, but they didn’t buy them. My agent suggested that perhaps things didn’t get moving fast enough in the plot, which is of course the big debate in mystery fiction: can a writer have some exposition, or must one thrust a knife into someone’s chest on page one?

(The author of this blog completely endorses using writing as a vehicle for spite.)

So in rebellion I began a chapter with the death of my main character—a violent shooting death—in the first line. And then I brought her back to life. At first I was just channeling my disappointment, but then I really got into my own story. So I must be a consummate storyteller. (As the Adam West Batman would say, “The only possible conclusion.”) How’s that for a literary allusion? Batman.

When I see the picture of you on your blog, I think you are holding a trumpet that you are just about to play. Is it a trumpet in the picture, and if so, how good are you?

That is hilarious! I never noticed that before. Sure, let’s say I play the trumpet really well, and I travel with a jazz band when I’m not promoting books or teaching English. But alas, it wouldn’t be true. That “trumpet” is just the back of a chair; the photo was taken at The Rainforest Café in Chicago, where we had taken our boys for a treat. I chose it because I didn’t look tired or old.

However, I do have a notable jazz connection: my father-in-law, Dick Buckley, is a Chicago legend for his jazz show on WBEZ. No one knows more about jazz than this man does. Feel free to challenge me. And the sad thing is, BEZ has decided to change its programming, so Dick’s show, after many years on the air in Chicago, will be eliminated in the coming months. He has a huge cult following who are circulating a petition. Any Chicagoans can still hear his show—for the time being—on Sundays at noon.

Your first Madeline Mann mystery hits bookstores in 2007. How is she different from Lily, and how many books do you envision in the series?

Lily Caldwell is a loveable young woman, but she has a very serious mission and an unhappy past, and so the book is not really lighthearted (although it does contain humor). Madeline is much more a product of the fun me; she is independent and intelligent, but she tends to be rather unpredictable in her behavior, which she attributes totally to the “vibes” she has at any given moment. For this reason, her brothers have nicknamed her “Madman,” and so far she has not been able to prove them wrong.

There are serious themes in the Madman books, but I think I get to them through more humorous paths. Maddy isn’t meant to depress people, nor are her mysteries. They’re supposed to lift the spirits and even make readers laugh. An assortment of odd characters, including her family, sort of heighten the humorous tension.

On your website, you refer to your writing group. How did the group begin, how many of you are in it, and how often do you meet?

My town used to have an arts organization called River Oak Arts, and it sponsored evening classes for adults in things like poetry writing, short story writing, and the one I took—novel writing. All of the classes were taught by professional writers, and mine was taught by the novelist Karen Lee Osborne. The class lasted eight weeks and taught me a lot about what should and shouldn’t go into a novel. I signed up for another, more advanced class a few months later—also taught by Karen—and then some of the group members who were really serious about their writing asked if we couldn’t just meet every month even after the class was over. That was about six years ago, and we still meet.

The advantage of the writing group, for me, is that after a while, when you’re composing, you can almost hear the voices of your group members in your head, telling you to cut out that adjective or eliminate this repetitive dialogue, and it becomes a sort of writer’s conscience. It’s helped me a great deal. I think my writing is much better now than it was before I joined the group.

What do your husband and children think of your writing?

They’re supportive in that they don’t stop me from doing it. And my husband is good about reading manuscripts. He doesn’t comment very heavily, but he’s great at spotting inconsistencies and giving me honest feedback. He gives me a little smiley face in the margin for everything that amuses him, so if I get something back and it doesn’t have a smiley at a spot I thought was funny, I’ll say, “Hey, that was funny!” And he’ll just shake his head. The smileys are not given randomly.

Other than that, they (the family) just sort of go about their business. My husband’s wine store did host a signing for me, which was nice. But my children attended one signing only, where I learned that they are not old enough to go to book signings. My seven year old told me that the word “the” on my cover was not properly capitalized, and my eleven-year old raised his hand and asked why there was profanity in the book. I turned about five shades of red. Naturally he hasn’t read it, but he was told he couldn’t because it had adult language and situations. So he managed to embarrass me at my very first book signing, and since then the boys have been relegated to the home with only a bowl of water.

(Blog author's note: I find if you crush up some Valium in the water, it goes a lot farther.)

How's the Master's in Literature coming?

Slowly but surely. It’s starting to feel like I’m on the ten-year plan, but it’s actually only been two years, and I’ll have earned half of my required credits by the end of this year. I had to take a little hiatus last year for financial reasons—after we pay my sons’ school tuition and the mortgage, there’s not much left for my tuition, and my employer only gives me a small percentage of the cost. So sometimes I have to stop, cry broke, and wait until I accumulate some savings again. I’m sure it’s character-building, this living in genteel poverty while I am immersed in the language of academia.

What three pieces of advice would you offer to an author whose first book is just about to hit the bookshelves?

1. Be proud of yourself. I tend to forget this one, either because I always set a higher goal and then forget to celebrate the one I met, or because I’ll find some negative aspect of my success. My family always says this is the Hungarian soul in me, because as my father has pointed out, “We’re a very sad people.” So I have to remind myself—hey, this is an accomplishment!
2. My Dad’s classic advice: “You don’t ask, you don’t get.” Profound, yet practical, isn’t it? This was always his advice to me when he noticed my natural reluctance in all things. So I have to sort of make myself go up to a bookstore counter and ask if they might carry my book, and how well is it selling, and have they lost weight? or whatever schmoozing thing I’m supposed to say in order to make them love me. (But I still don’t really do it. Number of bookstores visited: two).
3. Put things in perspective. This book is not going to have the impact, or the staying power, of something like Gone With The Wind, but a year ago I had no book on store shelves, and now I can stroll into a store and see a beautiful acknowledgement of my work, and can enjoy the occasional e-mail that I get from strangers telling me that they liked the book. Which I guess can be called fan mail.

How do I get my hands on the next Julia Buckley opus?

Hey, Jess, just say the word and I’ll send you the whole fat manuscript in hopes that you’ll eventually write a blurb like “Julia Buckley is a revelation!” or “If you read only one book this summer, read this one!”

(I can't promise a blurb, but I'd love a galley copy when they're available!)

Otherwise, you have to wait until August of 2007, which I believe is the release date for Pity Him Afterwards (although I just found out that will not be the title.)

And finally, on your blog, you claim to enjoy Gordon Lightfoot, Abba, and the Monkees. If you had to sing one of the following songs at a karaoke bar filled with English professors, ex-boyfriends, mystery reviewers, and Hollywood producers, which would it be? "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald," "Dancin' Queen," or "Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees."

Wow, that’s a toughie. The first two are great songs, but they’re totally out of my range. Gord tends to span a couple octaves rather effortlessly, while I end up hunting all over the place for the note an octave higher or lower. Not that it stops me from singing along. “Gord’s Gold” is my number one sing-along cd for chore doing or checkbook balancing. Abba, however, has been a favorite since childhood. My sister Linda and I would learn the melody and the harmony, so one of us could be Annifrida and one Agnetha and we could sing in the car and such. We are a singing family—very Von Trapp Family, if you want to know the truth. It’s because my German mother taught us to sing on family car trips, and she literally had a little choir in the back seat. My brothers sang bass and baritone, my sister and I were soprano or alto, my mom was alto. And my dad listened.

So back to your question: The Monkee’s Theme is the easiest to sing (although not my favorite song by them). So I would sing that, but I would have to ask you to sing it with me, along with two other people, so that we could link arms and do that special Monkees walk, leg over leg. It’s more difficult than it looks. We can practice at Bouchercon.

In any case, I doubt the mystery reviewers or the Hollywood producers would find much to write home about.

At karaoke, I'm the back-up dancer only, but I'll bring my go-go boots! Thanks for your time, Ms. Buckley. :) (I'm a whore with my smiley faces.)

Don't Forget Your Angry Eyes

Cool Nancy Chick just sent me this article, which is provocative in an angrifying way. It's a rehash of the "don't get too smart, ladies, or you'll never land yourselves a man" argument. I imagine it's as insulting to intelligent men as it is to intelligent women, so I'm sharing it with you all. Don't forget your angry eyes.

On to happier (and possibly even scarier) items. I put my house up for sale last week. Next summer, I'm going to pack up my kids and cat and move us to Madison, Wisconsin, or St. Paul, Minnesota, where I will pursue an MFA and a full-time writing career (you don't need one to have the other, but I love writing, teaching, and being in school, so I'm going to smush all three into the next three years). Join me as I make magic or fall flat on my ass.

VH1 Behind the Scenes: Jess Lourey

Julia Buckley, author of Dark Backward and consummate interviewer, has probed the heck out of me in an insightful interview. I'll be returning the favor next week. And I love the title of Julia's blog--"Mysterious Musings"--but I think "Mysterious Muffins" would be more provocative. People would look for all sorts of meaning that wasn't there.

The Original Book Tour

Before I published May Day, when I thought of authors, I thought of people who had it made, writing away in their sun rooms, a cup of tea by their side, shielded from the world as they created literary art and cashed royalty checks.

I had it part right. I do often have tea while writing. Otherwise, the money for beginning authors is not great. I've heard that publishers are happy to sell 5,000 copies of a debut novel, and the author makes about 50 cents a copy. My experience supports that.

As for time, a lot of it is taken in promoting the book. With 100s of thousands of books out there, it takes a lot of leg work to separate yours from the pack. This involves book signings, media interviews, blogging, submitting shorter works to magazines and anthologies, and sending out review copies of your novel. I enjoy a lot of it, but it's not writing novels, which is what I love to do.

That's why I thought the following information was so interesting. It seems writers have NEVER been in their ivory tower, creating literary art, and that writing has always been a cutthroat business. Not as romantic as the vision most of us have of authors, but interesting nonetheless. (The information below was posted on a writing listserv, but I'm afraid I can't find the name of the original poster.):

"There has never been an ivory tower for writers. Dickens went on long book tours, reading extracts of his books to audiences. George Eliot, Thackeray and others also did public readings, and went to the various social events arranged by their publishers. Defoe, Swift and company contributed to magazines and satirical publications and also went to social gatherings, like the literary salons arranged by the likes of Elizabeth Montagu.

Childrens' writers contributed to comics and magazines, went to schools and libraries to do readings. Shakespeare appeared in his own plays. Marlowe worked for the government on the side, to make a few pennies. Or were the plays his sideline? The ones who did no promotion of any kind are as rare as hen's teeth. Chaucer worked for the Crown and no doubt pushed his books at his work colleagues and at Court. So I can't think of a time when writers haven't promoted. More's the pity. The ivory tower looks beautiful from here."

It's work, but it's great work. :)

Beyond the Mystery: Secret Stories--the Truth Behind the Fiction

Bouchercon is THE conference for mystery readers, writers, editors, publishers, fans, and creative writing instructors. This year, I'm going to my first Bouchercon, and it's in the beautiful city of Madison, home of progressives, the farmers market to beat all farmers markets, and a great bookstore.

That's the good news. The more good news is that I will also be presenting, along with Gail Lukaskic, Julie Hyzy, Gammy Singer, and Susan Slater. The five of us were given the panel heading of "Beyond the Mystery," and told to narrow it down. We came up with "Beyond the Mystery: Secret Stories--the Truth Behind the Fiction." Here's the description:

"Five diverse authors tell all—sharing true stories that brought their scenes to life. Covering everything from social issues to recent events—whether to use a novel as a soapbox—and revelations of embarrassing moments, this will be a fast, funny and insightful discussion of what lies Beyond the Mystery."

All good, except our panel time. We are scheduled for 10:30 on Sunday, the very last day of the conference, when most people are on their way home. It's okay. We're paying our dues, and presenting on a Sunday means I won't miss any of the other great presentations on writing, editing, publishing, and marketing.

What's that? You want to know what I did yesterday? I canned like a beaver (??) with my mom and aunt. I left with exactly 50 jars--horseradish dill pickles, regular dill pickles, whole tomatoes, crabapple jelly (and two accidental crabapple syrups), salsa, pickled peppers (I accidentally first typed "pickled peckers," as in shorthand for "a peck of pickled peppers"), and jalabeanos. Yum!

I start back at work full-time Monday, and my fall semester goal is to write seven pages a day, five days a week. If I can stick to that, August Moon, the fourth novel in the Murder by Month series, will be in hand by December. My fortune cookie today (I don't have daily ones; I happened to have Vietnamese for lunch) said, "The dream that keeps returning is your Destiny." Ah. I'm grabbin' it.