Kickstarting My Writing Career

You heard, right? The Catalain Book of Secrets, the novel of my dreams, the book that took me 12 years to finish, the best thing I've ever written, was ultimately rejected by the nearly 20 publishers my agent sent it to. The rejections were loving, supportive, but rejections nonetheless.

Sigh.

In light of this, I went public with my decision to self-publish. I LOVE this book. Better than that, it healed me, and I want to share that with others. Then came the plot twist. When I posted my self-pub declaration to Facebook last week, Matthew Clemens, a dear friend and brilliant writer and book doctor, quietly messaged me and suggested I bring the self-pub campaign to Kickstarter.

You know, Kickstarter. The crowdfunding site that has raised millions for creative projects. Or, as we in Minnesota call it, "beggar's row." That's right, I hate asking people for money. Hate, hate, hate it. I was raised to be independent, and worse, to see asking for help as a weakness.

So, I quietly and not-so-quietly asked people I respected for their opinions. And you know what, 95% of them told me to go for it. The other 5% were supportive of me but worried what sort of image I would project to the world--needy or worse, greedy. I took all that loving feedback to heart and decided to create my campaign. I know I can do a basic self-pubbing job without crowdfunding, but I simply don't have the financial means to professionally design, market, or distribute the book without outside help. Also, it was pointed out to me that Kickstarter is a great way to build early buzz around my book.

It took me an hour to set up the Kickstarter page, and two days to make the video supporting my project. I'll go live with it on October 1, and my goal is to raise $12,056 by Halloween. In my next post, I'll go into more detail on my budget and rewards, but for now, you know what I learned while making the video?

My aversion to Kickstarter wasn't really about asking other people for money, though that's not my favorite thing to do. It was really about two things: 1) sharing the incredibly personal story of how The Catalain Book of Secrets came to be, and 2) confronting the fear of what it means to take this sort of ownership--the type where I ask hardworking everypeople to give up something that they value on my behalf--of my writing. It's one thing to write a book, and I've got no problem with shopping it to publishers. It's their job after all to support (or not) writers. And once the book is published, that cover on the outside serves as validation and protection against the slings and arrows most art receives.

But to ask people to invest in my tender, shivering manuscript? That means that I have to believe in myself 100% because I can't ask you to do for me what I'm not willing to do for myself.

Terrifying.

Exposing a deeply personal story on top of that? Waking nightmare.

And so, my job between now and the time my Kickstarter campaign goes live in seven days is to work through the jungle of fear and find the courage to put myself out there like I've never done before.

Wish me luck. Please.

(Side note: I am not made for television. The outtakes of my Kickstarter video are below. Argh.)