May 19, 2014. May 19, 2014. May 19, 2014.
It's the day I officially become a full-time writer, in name if not in paycheck.
I made the decision on April 15, 2014. I was at my desk, doing the job I'd been doing for 17 years and being paid well for it. It's an important job--teaching--and the hours are great, but on that cloudy day, I realized I couldn't do it anymore. Part of that is due to the people I work for. While my fellow faculty and staff are for the most part wonderful, my administration is short-sighted and fear-based. It's an environment in which you survive rather than thrive, and that's not how I want to live my life.
The larger reason, though, is that my writing is calling to me. That sounds corny and weird, and it might be, a little bit. But here's the deal: I'm lucky enough to have a passion in this life, and I know what it is. It's writing. I complain and hem and haw every day when I sit down to it, but once I get started, I know I'm in the right place at the right time. Every single time. If I go a couple days without writing, something in my world feels off. It's time for me to honor that gift.
This is terrifying. I landed my first "real" job when I was 15 years old, slinging cones at the Dairy Queen, and I've been gainfully employed since. I come from solid German stock who find their worth in hard, measurable work (with some Irish thrown in to keep it interesting). I'm a single mom and have been the sole provider for my kids for their entire lives. One is 15 and one is 12, and I don't want my passion to cost them.
But it's time. The good news is that I can refinance my house and we can live comfortably off of that money for a year, though I hate debt, and it rankles to add to it. Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, we'll have access to health insurance. I also have a manuscript out on submission that has nibbles from three of the Big Five, but they've been nibbling for weeks now, and I worry that the worm is long gone.
I've made up my mind, however. May 19, 2014 is the day. No more excuses.
Trust.
It's the day I officially become a full-time writer, in name if not in paycheck.
I made the decision on April 15, 2014. I was at my desk, doing the job I'd been doing for 17 years and being paid well for it. It's an important job--teaching--and the hours are great, but on that cloudy day, I realized I couldn't do it anymore. Part of that is due to the people I work for. While my fellow faculty and staff are for the most part wonderful, my administration is short-sighted and fear-based. It's an environment in which you survive rather than thrive, and that's not how I want to live my life.
The larger reason, though, is that my writing is calling to me. That sounds corny and weird, and it might be, a little bit. But here's the deal: I'm lucky enough to have a passion in this life, and I know what it is. It's writing. I complain and hem and haw every day when I sit down to it, but once I get started, I know I'm in the right place at the right time. Every single time. If I go a couple days without writing, something in my world feels off. It's time for me to honor that gift.
This is terrifying. I landed my first "real" job when I was 15 years old, slinging cones at the Dairy Queen, and I've been gainfully employed since. I come from solid German stock who find their worth in hard, measurable work (with some Irish thrown in to keep it interesting). I'm a single mom and have been the sole provider for my kids for their entire lives. One is 15 and one is 12, and I don't want my passion to cost them.
But it's time. The good news is that I can refinance my house and we can live comfortably off of that money for a year, though I hate debt, and it rankles to add to it. Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, we'll have access to health insurance. I also have a manuscript out on submission that has nibbles from three of the Big Five, but they've been nibbling for weeks now, and I worry that the worm is long gone.
I've made up my mind, however. May 19, 2014 is the day. No more excuses.
Trust.
Love it . . . follow your dreams! ~ Tom
ReplyDeleteThank you! It helps to have awesome people like you two in my court.
DeleteYou are an awesome writer; you'll do great!
ReplyDeleteAwww, thank you! :)
DeleteSo excited you are on this journey. I know in my bones that it is a good thing!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat means a lot to me, Beth Ann. I trust those instincts!
Delete"It's an environment in which you survive rather than thrive, and that's not how I want to live my life. "
ReplyDeleteThis. I had this same realization. That I was reacting instead of acting. That I was measuring my life in hours I had to wait and lengths of commutes and times I explained the same thing over and over again to those who should have known from the last time or logic or because it was their job and not mine.
I waited to pull my shoulders down from my ears, crept up from tension. I waited for the Alleve to kick in and my head to stop hurting. I waited and waited until I felt worthy and allowed to choose what made me happy.
I too decided on the day. No more excuses.
Leap and the net will meet you. There's room for both of us in it.
I love the visual of us bouncing around in that net together. Or, just flying with a smile on our faces. It's nice to be in this together, yes? Even if it's cyber-together.
DeleteWell look at this, a reason to return to Blogger. Congrats on your decision, and congrats to all of us for all the good words we are about to receive from you!
ReplyDeleteI am bringing Blogger back from the 90s, aren't I? Think I can do the same with 90s hair? Seriously, thanks for the support. I need all I can get.
DeleteGreat decision. Somebody once said that it's the choices we don't make that we regret late in life.
ReplyDeleteSeize life as a full-time writer by the throat and don't let go.
KM
Words to live by! Thank you, Kevin.
DeleteCongratulations Jess! I'm glad you're taking that road because it's going to be a good drive.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dru Ann!
DeleteRemember that island paradise we both love? The way I got there was by diving off the deep end with my eyes only a little bit open. Came out very nicely when I bobbed up in that beautiful turquoise water.
ReplyDeleteVallen