Friday, March 31, 2006

St. Cloud State University Booksigning

Sold about ten copies of May Day at the SCSU booksigning at the Husky bookstore and met some very interesting people, so I'm calling it a good signing. 'Kay? And I got a pedicure today, so I'm set. Set, I tell you.

Except, Mr. B. just emailed me to ask if I've heard from the businesses of Battle Lake. He sent them all an "email Jess for a free review copy of May Day" last week, and not one of them has bitten. What's up, Battle Lake?


And finally, someone forwarded me the picture to the left. Since when is it OK to make fun of the leader of the free world? Cheese and rice, some respect, people. Ha! I love the expression on the woman's face. She means it.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Intellectual Crack

Tuesday pm is writing night at the Lourey house. My mom drives all the way from Paynesville, Minnesota, to play with my kids so I can realize my dream of being a published novelist. Or, at least expand on that dream and meet my June 1st deadline for Knee High by July. Do you know what I'm doing instead of writing? I'm firing up the intellectual crack pipe, aka trolling the Internet. I encourage you to put down the blog now unless you want to become an addict like me, forever searching for that hit of the weird, the celebrity, the worrisome, unable to hold down a full-time job due to your ever escalating need to be online. Here's what I got:

OK, I think that's enough Internet detritus. I'm quitting cold turkey. For tonight. And as long as I write ten pages for Knee High, I've met my quota and I can absolve myself of all guilt. Oh, wait. I gotta check my horoscope.

"Push aside your pride, especially when dealing with a situation that needs an immediate solution. Someone you've been avoiding can help you with your dilemma, so get rid of your ego and ask for their help."

Someone I've been avoiding? Cripes. That could be anyone. And that is a lame-o horoscope, for the record. What about love, money, and skyrocketing careers? Maybe I need to pay for the psychic love test to really get to know myself. Wait...I can get a sample birth time reading for free.

"The Inner You: Your Real Motivation. You are, in many ways, an eternal child. Your mind is bright, alert, curious, flexible, playful, and always eager for new experiences - and your attention span is often quite brief. You grasp ideas quickly and once your initial curiosity has been satisfied, you want to go on to something else. You crave frequent change, variety, meeting new situations and people. Find out more with your full-length reading..."

Hmmm. If I weren't so childlike with my firefly flicker of an attention span, I might be able to find my credit card and front for the full-length reading. Back to writing it is.

Monday, March 27, 2006

We Have Liftoff

May Day is officially launched! The book launch party at the Douglas County Library last Saturday was a rousing success, except that no one ate enough cheese so I had to take it home. I am so full of cheese ("Things a mouse would say?"). The majority of well-wishers were 60 and older and had heard me on Open Line last Thursday. Now that I am infiltrating that age group, I am closer to finding out whether or not they are offended by my lively portrayal of the "life experienced" in May Day. I'm putting my money on "not offended," because it's about time that we stopped marginalizing those in the retirement community and recognized that they are active and contributing members of society. And probably do? don't? have naked rosemaling clubs. It's anybody's guess, really.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Fergus Falls Public Library

I've come close to Battle Lake and have yet to be stoned (as in, rocks thrown at me) for basing a mystery series there, so yay! Actually, the Wednesday night Fergus Falls Library presentation was a blast. The audience was receptive and full of fantastic questions and input. One kind woman also let me know that the Fargo Forum had reviewed May Day a couple weeks earlier. I think interactive presentations are the way to go because as an author, you don't have that leprous feel of a book signing (unless the signing is at the St. Cloud Waldenbooks, in which case you feel happy). Thank you to the great staff at the FF Library!

Thank you also to Dennis and Patty for having me on Open Line yesterday. It was good clean fun, and I got to come up with Battle Lake and May Day trivia questions for the listeners. Dennis and Patty did a great job promoting the book launch party for May Day, which is tomorrow from 1-3 at the Douglas County Library. I'll be giving away free prizes every fifteen minutes and there will be free food and fun. I like fun. Consider yourself invited. :)

My Martha Stewart tip for the weekend: For those of you who desperately want it to be spring, I recommend buying yourself some fresh flowers on your way home from work and popping a watermelon Jolly Rancher in your mouth. Trust me.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Sexiest Punctuation

I share an office with Christine Hollermann-Hanlon (and I'm sure she'll thank me for linking you to the worst picture she has ever taken in her adult life), and today, we were getting in a discussion about which punctuation is the sexiest. I don't mean "sexy" in that trendy way where it is interchangeable with the word "popular," as in, "401Ks are a very sexy option for the employee in their 40s." It chaps my hide when people use "sexy" that way, mainstreaming a perfectly good if slightly 1970s taboo word.

No, I mean sexy, as in, "It's really hot when a guy knows how to use a semicolon." Isn't it crazy naughty fun to be an English teacher? This is our office talk. Christine is partial to the em dash, which, while it is my personal favorite form of punctuation because I'm all about parenthetical thoughts, just isn't sexy. Now the semicolon, well that requires one to create and inscribe two thoughts that are so close, so intimately connected that a period would be a sea between them, but also independent and evolved enough that they need their own space and can stand alone when necessary. Now that's sexy. Anyone care to weigh in on their own personal faves?

More Pix from Waldenbooks Signing


Super Cindy (the chick in the far left picture who was disappointed there wasn't really a May Day thong), just emailed me some more fun pix from the Waldenbooks signing. Good time had by all.

I look a little carnivorous in the lower left one with my kids. Brian--don't send me any more pictures of Morticia Addams. I get it. My skin is pale and my hair is dark, and you think I'm a witch. Hmmm...Zoe looks a little Wednesday-ish in the one on the right. Maybe you are on to something.

For those of you who missed Boston Legal last week, check out the clip. I don't normally watch the show, but I was in a hotel room, caught it by accident, and found it very compelling.

Today over lunch I'm giving an informal presentation on publishing a novel. Informal means I don't know what I'm going to say. The presentation will be held in room 114 at Alex Tech at noon. If you can't catch that, stop by the Fergus Falls Library at 7:00 p.m. today. I'm a little worried about Fergus. It's close to Battle Lake, and since I haven't heard from the Battle Lake crowd about their feelings on May Day, I think tonight I may. Day. May Day.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Making Eye Babies

OK, when Holly sent me this, I thought it was from The Onion, America's Finest News Source, but it is actually from the Chronicle of Higher Education. The article is called A College That's Strictly Different, it's about a conservative Pensacola Christian college with many, many rules for student behavior in and out of the classroom, and this is my favorite paragraph in it:

"Even couples who are not talking or touching can be reprimanded. Sabrina Poirier, a student at Pensacola who withdrew in 1997, was disciplined for what is known on the campus as 'optical intercourse' — staring too intently into the eyes of a member of the opposite sex. This is also referred to as 'making eye babies.' "

Hallelujah for academic freedom, I say. And if while imparting a sound, unaccredited education, this college can also deliver a smackdown on optical intercourse, thereby cutting down on the number of unplanned eye babies in the world, and by extension the number of single eye baby mothers who would probably just raise eye baby criminals, who are we to cast aspersions?

I just wonder if we could somehow spread the word that PCC and BJU and the like are out there so those far right conservatives who feel disenfranchised by a liberal arts education that requires an introduction to and critical examination of diverse perspectives could find their voice and maybe feel like they have some say in the political, moral, and social landscape of the U. S.

St. Cloud Waldenbooks

The St. Cloud Waldenbooks booksigning was my favorite to date, and not because my mom was there snapping pictures of me in front of the "For Dummies" line of books, either. It wasn't even that my very sweet kids were there, though that sure didn't hurt. No, the big plus for me was Gina, the manager. She bought me daisies (my second favorite flower after lilacs), she had balloons out, she kept me company during the slow times, she had all of her employees walking around with copies of May Day, and she actually walked up to people browsing in the store and sent them my way. She even made one of the employees lay on the floor right in the mall traffic with a copy of May Day over his face, playing off the actual book cover of May Day. Good time! Thank you, Gina!

p.s. Have I mentioned that a married guy with testicle cleavage (couldn't help looking--I was sitting down, he wasn't) hit on me at the Alexandria book signing? That's really no one's fault (except maybe evolution's), but something like that sticks with a gal for a while. I've been trying to supress the memory, but I think it's best if I just talk through it.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Emotional Labor

Thank you to each and every person who stopped by to talk to me at the May Day book signing at the Book World in the Alexandria mall yesterday, and a special thank you to the manager, Dolly, for keeping me entertained at the slow times. Yesterday was coincidentally also the Sportsman's Showcase at the mall, so the aisles were crammed to bursting with crossbows, four-wheelers, camoflauge hunting suits (or whatever they're called), and people itching to outfit their lives with some new weaponry. I think I may have done better had I been signing copies of Ted Nugent's Kill It and Grill It, but you work with what you got. All in all, it was an interesting juxtaposition, and I met some very wonderful people and signed a bunch of books. By the way, if you're ever at a bookstore or a mall and there is an author there for a book signing sitting all alone trying not to look like a geek, go over and talk to him/her. You don't have to buy a book--just visit. I guarantee the author will appreciate it. Today, I'm at the Crossroads Mall (St. Cloud) Waldenbooks signing from 2:30-4:00. Hope to see you there!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Spring Inspiration

I'm off to my book signing at Alexandria Book World, but before I go, I have to share this inspirational workout video to give us all that little oomph we need to get off the couch and get in shape as the first day of spring draws nigh. Enjoy. And stop by the Viking Mall and say hi between 1-3, otherwise I'll just be sitting there looking like I'm selling cell phones.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Cheese, Diet Coke, and the Pet Shop Boys

That's what I have going on now. I am trying to get my head around the busy, busy week I've had. It started on Tuesday, when I went to the hotel room in the Cities Mr. B. had reserved for me so I would be close like a mouse to the cat when we started our whirlwind Twin Cities book tour. I enjoyed that quiet night in the hotel, watching "America's Next Top Model" (two hour block!) and eating TGIFriday's glue-like food in bed, remote control in hand.

Next morning, Mr. B. was there bright and early in his Russian mafia suit. We took IHOP by storm and then raced through bookstores near and far. May Day is "on the table" in Borders and soon will be in Barnes and Noble, which is fantastic news and makes me heart Midnight Ink more than I even did before. I felt like a dork asking to sign copies of my book, and if you know me, you know that when I feel like a dork, I become a dork, babbling and making stupid jokes. It was a good time nevertheless. People were extra nice to me when Mr. B. was around, too--I think it was the grim look on his face, the black suit, and the banana in his coat pocket.

We ended up at the (I swear to God "Rock Me Amadeus" just came on my radio--is this going to be a good day or what?) Brookdale Barnes and Noble for the official book signing, where Jan took fabulous care of me. There was not much traffic at my table, not counting my three rosy-cheeked, martini-breathed friends from Alexandria who stopped by, but I met some great people and discovered I really like Jan--she's direct and opinionated, which is my favorite kind of woman. Mr. B. and I ended up the night at the Maplewood B & N, where the seriously funniest group of women ever was meeting in the basement to pick a book for their book club. They decided to go with May Day (peer pressure rocks), and Mr. B. and I slipped out on the snow storm.

Phew. Today, I was on the radio with Tom E. Lee, who was very kind and didn't smell at all like the beef jerky he was trying to give away. I was nervous, but Kellie Tatge, the most sparkly woman you'll ever meet, inside and out, carried the day by reading a part of May Day on the air, offering catchy sound bites, and informing all of my 1-3 book signing tomorrow. Whee! If you're in the neighborhood, stop by the Viking Plaza Mall tomorrow to say "hi." I won't try to sell you anything.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Duluth Barnes & Noble

I completed my first official booksigning ever, and I'm happy to report that the Duluth Barnes & Noble was the perfect spot to do it. Jill Lyman, the Community Relations manager, had a great old, heavy wood table set in the center of the store with about 30 copies of May Day and a vase of fresh pink tulips on it. She even provided Sharpies and "Autographed Copy" stickers, and some delicious tea and water (which I shouldn't have drank; I spent much of the signing needing to pee).

There was one sort of crabby-looking woman with a crispy little tight perm who wanted to know if I was related to Becky Lourey, and when I said I thought her husband was my dad's first cousin, she pursed her lips and walked away, but otherwise, people were a little shy about approaching me and nice as could be when they got there. The few down times, Jill came over and talked to me so I wasn't just sitting there like the girl nobody wanted to dance with. Yay! The bookstore is great, too--huge, with lots of nooks and crannies. I ended up signing ten or eleven copies and getting a lot of people to register for the May Day-themed prizes. I stayed about half an hour past my scheduled time, and on the way out, Jill gave me a handwritten thank you card and a wrapped copy of a beautiful hard cover book on herbs. Gotta love Duluth.

Tomorrow, I'm heading to the Cities early to get rested up for the whirlwind, one-day Twin Cities bookstore tour, which officially begins and ends on Wednesday. Mr. B., my publicist, has kindly offered to drive me around. He said that if I act like a diva, he's going wear his underoos outside his pants, say, "I like to shop at Kmart" over and over again in a breathy little voice, and tell people he is my first cousin and our moms said I have to bring him with. Good thing I am incredibly low-maintenance, as anyone who knows me will attest to.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Books vs. Movies

I recently received the following thought-provoking question from Tom-E-Lee, Program Director and morning DJ on Z99 KXRZ:

"As movies have changed over the years in what seems to be a downward spiral where it seems quantity and not quality is important, have books suffered the same fate and if so why or why not?"

It struck a nerve, so I turned off White Chicks, Unrated and Uncut, put finger to chin, and pondered the question. My gut reaction is "no," books haven't suffered the same fate, but that might have more to do with the fact that I've always been a book snob and had really pedestrian taste in movies (My favorites: O Brother, Where Art Though?, Gone with the Wind, all the original Pink Panthers with Peter Sellers, Murder by Death, every single James Bond Movie, Jaws, Finding Nemo, the original three Star Wars, Spirited Away, and anything with Humphrey Bogart). So, I decided to do some research on the current best-selling movies and best-selling books. I html-coded the table below myself. The white space, well, that is just a free gift from a cyber-gremlin. Scroll on.


















MoviesBooks
1. Madea’s Family Reunion1. THE 5TH HORSEMAN, by James Patterson*
2. 16 Blocks2. CELL, by Stephen King
3. Eight Below3. THE DA VINCI CODE, by Dan Brown
4. Ultraviolet4. THE TEMPLAR LEGACY, by Steve Berry
5. Aquamarine5. THE LAST TEMPLAR, by Raymond Khoury
6. The Pink Panther6. THE TWO MINUTE RULE, by Robert Crais
7. Dave Chapelle’s Block Party7. IN THE COMPANY OF THE COURTESAN, by Sarah Dunant**
8. Date Movie8. THE OLD WINE SHADES, by Martha Grimes
9. Curious George9. LOVERS & PLAYERS, by Jackie Collins
10. Firewall10. SEA CHANGE, by Robert B. Parker
*Word on the street is that Patterson no longer writes his novels. He's the Carolyn Keene of our generation. He has people write the novels, I imagine he gives them some feedback, and they get published with his name, and, I think, the main authors name on the cover in much smaller print.
**The synopsis of this one is, “[a] courtesan and her friend and pimp, a dwarf, make their way in Renaissance Venice. ” I wish I were lying. It’s gotten really good reviews, so I will withhold judgment. At least, out loud judgment. Internally, I’m judging.

What strikes me about the movies is that four of the top ten are children's movies, and none of the top ten have original concepts. What strikes me about the books are:

1. There are a couple really good ones up there, and The Da Vinci Code is one of them. You could argue that it isn't an original concept as many had done it before Brown, but none as well as he.
2. Three of the top five best-selling books in the United States are about the Knights of Templar, a fact which I think reflects cultural unrest with the co-opting of Christianity for political gain and to feed the hegemon.
3. Mysteries are selling well.

Overall, comparing the top ten current bestselling books with the top ten current highest-grossing movies, one is left feeling generally uninspired, though there appear to be a little more hope in books because a novelist has a smaller group to appease than a screenwriter/actor/director before their work is available to the public. I think the more creative freedom allowed to the artist, the better the chance of the product being original and satisfying.

You know, though, if you put aside the top ten lists, which are more a reflection of marketing than artistic worth or integrity, there are a lot of fantastic, independent movies out there and exciting, original novels. So, to answer your question, Tom E. Lee, I think neither movies nor books are in a downward spiral--it's us. We're too lazy to seek out anything not directly laid in our paths, and so publishers and movie studios are taking the path of least resistance. If we make the effort to seek out what we really want to see and read, as opposed to letting our diets be decided to us, we'll all be better for it.

Feel free to argue with me. Anyone. In the meantime, tell me what your favorite books are so that readers of this blog can have some direction next time they're at the bookstore. Tell me what you like and why, and I'll pass it on!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Promoting Your First Novel

I just had an email requesting tips on promoting your novel. I'm really new to all this and making it up as I go, but I'd be happy to share what I've learned so far, in no particular order.

1. Join the Mystery Writers of America and Sisters in Crime (if you're a mystery writer--most other genre fiction has corresponding organizations). Go to their websites and their conferences to see what sort of support they can offer you and what sort of networking you can do.
Contact your state's (or local) arts council to find out what support they offer authors, financial or otherwise. The Lake Region Arts Council, through funding from the McKnight Foundation, granted me $1200 to buy promotional materials for May Day.
3. Purchase some promotional material. I've seen recommendations to spend half your advance on promo stuff, and that sounds about right, as long as half your advance is around $700-$1200. I researched promotional companies and had good luck with Inkspress, from whom I ordered calendar magnets, pens, bookmarks (their bookmarks are fabulous), and postcards. Read A Guide to Publicity for another viewpoint on promotional materials. Also, consider that your book is your best publicity tool, and your money might be better spent getting copies to interested reviewers, media outlets, and bookstores, which leads to number four...
4. ...Get your promotional materials and/or book in the right hands. I purchased the library database from the Mystery Writers of America and the Deadly Directory, as well as printed out the list of booksellers on the Independent Mystery Booksellers of America website. I sent all appropriate sources a postcard. Some of the information in the library database and Deadly Directory is outdated, so this is more like shooting with a shotgun and hoping some of the spray hits something. If you do send out postcards, make sure to put a handwritten message on each one (short is fine--I write, "Thanks for reading!") to make yours stand out from the pile. Oh--before you send out any of these postcards, make sure to talk to your publicist if you're lucky enough to have one so you're not double-dipping.
5. Order and read Shameless Promotion for Brazen Hussies.
6. Become a member of the Murder Must Advertise listserv.
7. Contact any newspapers that might be interested in your novel, its topic, or its setting. My Murder by Month series is set in Battle Lake, so I contacted the Battle Lake newspaper, as well as my local newspaper, my hometown newspaper, and the newspaper in the city where I went to college. Offer to send a review copy as well as make yourself available for an interview.
8. Contact your local radio and television stations and offer to come down for an interview. I was scared to do this at first, so I had a brave friend of mine do it. It's easy! For her. She set up a television interview, which wasn't nearly as scary as I imagined (they tape it so they can edit out things like peekaboogers, accidental swear words, and nervous tics). I also emailed a couple radio stations and set up on-air opportunities that way.
9. Call all the bookstores within reasonable driving distance (and don't forget bookstores at local colleges, if college students might be a good audience for your novel) to set up booksignings. Again, if you have a publicist, check with himmer first. I have my first book signing tomorrow, and it's my understanding that they are generally poorly attended unless you're already famous. For those of us who aren't, your main audience at a book signing is the people who work at the bookstore. Be nice to them, Fancy, and they'll be nice to you.
10. Don't do anything that seems like a really bad time for you. If you're terrified by public speaking, for example, don't agree to be a keynote speaker at a booksellers conference. If you're still reading this, writing is likely more than a hobby for you, and if you're going to make it your business, make it into one you enjoy.

Best of luck! :)

The Shark Did It

OK, I just finished Jaws (the book by Peter Benchley, not the movie), and I was disappointed. I read it on a whim because I loved the movie back in the day, and the book is always better than the movie, right? It turns out not, at least when 20-foot Great Whites are involved. The relationship between Martin Brody, the chief of police, and his wife, Ellen, is cliched (she wants to be rich, he isn't, so she cheats on him and then realizes she loves him), the "shark circling" scenes don't have near the terror that they do in the movie, and the sex scenes are flat. It's not horrible, of course--there is humor, the setting description is strong, and hey, it's got a big freakin' shark. I am glad I read it, if nothing else than for the inspiration. L'il Jaws will be appearing in Battle Lake in August Moon as a terrorizing sub-plot.

The Big Sleep

I finished Raymond Chandler's 1939 hard-boiled mystery novel, The Big Sleep. It was a fantastic read. What surprised me most was the amazingly original language. Check out this paragraph from the very first page:

"The main hallway of the Sternwood place was two stories high. Over the entrance doors, which would have let in a troop of Indian elephants, there was a broad stained-glass panel showing a knight in dark armor rescuing a lady who was tied to a tree and didn't have any clothes on but some very long and convenient hair. The knight had pushed the vizor of his helmet back to be sociable, and he was fiddling with the knots on the ropes that tied the lady to the tree and not getting anywhere. I stood there and thought that if I lived in the house, I would sooner or later have to climb up there and help him. He didn't seem to be really trying."

That's a remarkable mix of character and setting description--what Philip Marlowe notices about his surroundings, how he perceives what he sees. His eye for detail made me like him, even though he surrounds himself with weird dames (who he is pretty quick to slap if they get out of line) and ends up with a lot of guns in the end. That fabulous use of simile, metaphor, and very original show-don't-tells compelled me to read this book in a few hours, and every few pages I'd be rewarded with a sentence like, "The giggles got louder and ran around the corners of the room like rats behind the wainscoting." That sort of eye for detail gives me chills. Good stuff.

Another author, Julia Buckley, had told me that if I like Chandler I'll love Ross Macdonald, so I'll have to check that out next. Anybody else have recommendations?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Little Known Things about Publishing your First Book

  1. You don't get to pick the name of the book. Your publisher trusts you to write a novel, but not a title. Actually, Midnight Ink let me keep all my original titles and is otherwise fantastic, but I've heard horror stories.
  2. You don't have much, if any, say in what the cover looks like. For the cover of May Day, I asked for no skinny chicks and no faces. They met me halfway, which I later found out is incredibly generous and rare. And, in retrospect, it's a fabulous cover.
  3. Most new authors don't have a publicist assigned to them. My publicist told me that, and you can either read it as truth or as "you're lucky to have me so sit down and shut up." He'd probably vote for the latter. I can be a lot of work.

This weekend, I'm reading my first Raymond Chandler book (I know--I write mysteries and I've never read Raymond Chandler)--The Big Sleep. And Jaws. If I get them done by Monday, look for reviews here! I'll let you know how Jaws ends. Duh-duhnt. Duh-duhnt. Da-duhnt da-duhnt da-duhnt. I'm also going through my first Joan Hess mystery (Maggody at something). I'm considering it all research, and if you see some hard-nosed California criminals and muskie attacks in Mira James' Battle Lake in the near future, you'll know what my inspiration was. Oooh--I like that, actually. Muskie attacks in Battle Lake. L'il Jaws.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

You Know You've Made It when...

...your life's work can be bought on eBay. I'd like to point out to potential buyers that the price isn't that good, and if I were you I'd instead buy it on amazon with a couple other books (some Carl Hiaasen, maybe a little Janet Evanovich) to get free shipping. Or does eBay have no shipping and other bargains? Maybe you could get as a an eBay package May Day, French Toast not n-joyed by Justin Timberlake of N-Sync, and five cat turds. Now THAT's a bargain.

On a happy happy note, today is my son's fourth birthday. I threw him a party with family and friends present, and he announced to us all that it was "the best birthday party ever." And he has three whole other ones to compare it to. :) Happy Birthday, Xander!!!

The Winning Library!

Rae Brecht, Community Services Coordinator at the Brookings Public Library in Brookings, South Dakota, has just won a free signed copy of May Day for her library! If you are a librarian, go to my website to fill out a quick and strings-free registration form to enter your library in the March drawing to win a free copy of May Day. I'll put your name in the hat, and Christine, my blonde office mate, will draw the next winner. If you've already entered but your name hasn't yet been drawn, there is hope! You're still in the hat.

I visited Fergus Falls today for an interview with Kelly of the Fergus Falls Daily Journal. He was smart and nice and gave me helpful background info on Chief Wenonga, my favorite fiberglass Native American in the whole, wide, vast world. Isn't he hot? Thought so.